Reaction And Review: The Zero Theorem

Welcome ladies and gentlenerds to a brand new entry of killb94's Reaction And Review. On this episode we're gonna take a look at a science fiction film from 2013, that movie is "The Zero Theorem".
Now, the only things I know about this movie is that it's directed by Terry Gilliam, the ex-Monty Python member and, for those of you who don't know, the man behind films such as "Time Bandits", "The Fisher King" and "Brazil", which is absolutely one of my favorite movies of all time. So I'm aware of the fact that this guy is really able to make some truly amazing films... Though, the last good movie he made was "12 Monkeys" from 1995, after that Gilliam just kind of became rotten and did nothing but making pretentious drug addict movies and some query fantasy film. However while I'm already taking the guess that the movie I'm about to watch won't be as polished or well written as his early movies are, it still very well COULD be, but I have a feeling that what I'm going to get into here isn't going to be as good as that marvelous movie from 1985.
So guys, not only am I wondering if this thing is as good as "Brazil", I'm wondering just if this thing is ANY good at all, because I really have no earthly clue, it could turn out to be just as bad as the shit Gilliam made after 1995.
The only way I'm gonna find out if this thing is ANY good at all is by shutting up and pushing play, and I'm going to do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out... "The Zero Theorem"!

13 MINUTES LATER...
...Why is that chick listening to her Iphone with headphones when she's in the middle of a fucking party with loud music being played? Yes, I KIND OF noticed that this movie is basically trying to satirize technology, but there's a difference between satire and just being stupid. Do I seriously need to explain it?!

20 MINUTES LATER...
Okay, I really have to ask... Is there any PLOT in this movie? So far it's just about Christoph Waltz waiting for a phone call and in the meantime he's playing some kind of mathematical Minecraft-alike game which I suppose it's his job... I'm not entirely sure because they didn't bother to explain what that is or how does that even work. And because nothing is happening and I can't even understand WHAT I am even looking at right now, this movie is actually starting to bore me.

17 MINUTES LATER...
So they're spying him through a camera that is placed on the head of a crucifix? ...Really? ...We go from a guy who's obsessed with technology despite being a powerful sorcerer and bureaucrats who're obsessed with tidiness yet do nothing but creating devices that make matters more complicated even for themselves... To this SOOOOO subtle image that is basically saying "Uuuuh, technology is God!" ...That's just fucking LAZY, man!

8 MINUTES LATER...
I seriously was NOT kidding when I pointed out the lack of creativity this movie has. Now they're doing that bullshit "Oh, look, we're inside your mind, we're safe in this mystic place!" a shitload of movies already did. Is ANYTHING interesting going to happen? We're almost halfway through this movie and nothing has happened! This movie better pick up quickly or it will be bad, folks. Really bad.

25 MINUTES LATER...
Bob: I'm about to crash...
Well, guess what, asshole? I am also 'about to crash' because this movie has REALLY failed at almost every way to be smart, interesting, engaging or even just entertaining! It's seriously getting harder and harder for me to watch, guys!

8 MINUTES LATER...
...You know... Guys... I'm honestly happy to see that this movie is almost over.
I really have NOTHING else to really say, I'm just happy to see that this film is finally about to fade away and it will be done soon! ...Which is sad because once more, I need to stress: I WANTED TO LIKE THIS THING!!! I was even promised that this movie was going to be good, the person who told me that is a horrible LIAR! ...My god, this thing has just been a herculean labour!!

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THE REVIEW

AT THE END OF THE FILM...
Well, guys, that was "The Zero Theorem"... Good fucking lord that was NOWHERE near as good as I was hoping.

Okay, well... I'm gonna get the easy part done with first, I want to get this outta the way and done with before it ends up taking over the whole Review section... When I put this thing on, the person who told me that I had to see this film told me STRAIGHT UP that this film was going to be JUST as good as "Brazil" was, because it's from the same guy who made "Brazil".
There was even a friend of mine here on DeviantArt who said that this movie is probably the most well paced Terry Gilliam made.
NO. No, no, and a thousand times NO, it's NOT. Not even CLOSE, this is not even allowed to be in the same shelf with "Brazil"!
"The Zero Theorem" is INFERIOR in every single way to "Brazil", or heck even "The adventures of Baron Münchausen" and "12 Monkeys"!
So, if someone tells you to pick between "The Zero Theorem" or "Brazil" TAKE "BRAZIL" ANY DAY OF THE FUCKING WEEK, okay? It's a vastly superior film in terms of writing, characters, acting, atmosphere, EVERYTHING is better in "Brazil"!
Now, hopefully from this moment on I'm NOT going to make comparisons to "Brazil" because trust me, I could probably bang on about that on a text that would take about a good couple of hours to read.

Anyway, let's talk about the movie I just finished watching, shall we? ...Writing.
Writing of "The Zero Theorem", OOOOOH boy... Ehm, you see, guys... What makes alot of this sort of movies, what makes alot of trippy, mind-bending, existential Science Fiction dramas work is when your characters are GOOD.
When your characters are strange and uncompromising, but still have some level of humanity and a purpose, a goal.
...In "The Zero Theorem" NOBODY is like that.
The closest we have is the protagonist played by Christoph Waltz, who's essentialy a weirdo who speaks like Venom from Spider-Man and is waiting for a certain phone call that would supposedly assure him happiness. THAT'S ALL. And that's really as close as we have here in terms of a genuine character in this film.
And no, the whole thing about him trying to order his data to solve the Zero Theorem formula is what HIS SUPERIORS ask him to do, if they didn't, he would be just sitting on his ass while obsessing for that phone call, which to be honest doesn't really feel "deep" or "meaningful" as a concept, instead it feels like a DUMB and kind of desperate attempt at writing a strange protagonist.
...Everybody else is just sorta "there" because "we need people there"... There is alost NO personality between anybody else, I REALLY wish that the characters were allowed to be as well as to repersent, if that makes sense. In Gilliam's other films, even the bad ones, all managed to balance the need to deliver aphorisms and lessons agianst the obligation to involve us in the character's plights. Every character in this film remains stubbornly and elusively abstract. We do know what everybody stands for, but we never really know them, they're basically just cardboard cuts who're just there to tell the protagonist what to do. And because of that there's almost NO emotional impact. The characters just don't feel real or engaging. And Gilliam keeps going on repeating his points at nauseum, but never really brings them about, makes us understand, care, or believe in them. For a film so densely written, it ended up being REALLY shallow!
I can't even remember anybody's name, for fucks sake!! I swear I don't remember a SINGLE name, except for Matt Damon's character whos name is "Management"... Yes, that's how he's named because he's the boss of Christoph Waltz's character.

And the worst part is that Terry Gilliam is trying his DAMNEDEST to make me care about these shallow, lifeless people! And you know what? BLESS HIM, he at least tried to make me give a shit about any of these unhuman, pointless and pretentious DRONES.
However it still wasn't enough and I ended up with a film that runs over a hour and a half, I had only ONE character who's doing something and has some kind of motivation which goes beyond and above trying to solve the Zero Theorem, which aims to prove life is meaningless through the Big Crunch theory. I got admit that all of that sounds interesting on paper, AND IT WOULD'VE BEEN if only the characters weren't unhuman and superficial, I was left with a concept which sounded pretty intriguing and SHOULD'VE by all rights have worked out fine if it wasn't for these ultra-cosmetic characters, and the whole movie SUFFERS because of that!
The dialogues in this movie are trying SO FUCKING HARD to be clever, witty, and you know, snappy and "deep", it just tries to damn hard and it can't succeed, and because of that, again, the film SUFFERS greatly. Seriously, the biggest flaw this movie had is its writing, because at NO time I ever found a reason to care about the characters or about any of the situations which I am just going to discount all of that because honestly as much as I consider all movies Terry Gilliam made after "12 Monkeys" to be utter shit, that still doesn't stop the fact that "The Zero Theorem" is almost UNWATCHABLE because of its protagonist and characters being so piss poor and so flat and unrelateable.

Now, even though the writing and the characters and the dialogues are so flat and artificial, the actors here turned out a pretty decent showing, okay? And I cannot criticize any of the actors, everybody here turned in the best possible showing with the script given, and that's still a positive, okay? And I don't want anyone to think that I'm going to start dumping on the acting, I really can't.
The acting in this movie was genuinely good and I really can't think about anyone who turned in a bad showing. I can say that everybody would've turned a VASTLY better showing if they were given a better script to work with! Instead they basically had to polish this TURD the best way they could and damnit every single one of them were able to polish it as well as they possibly could!
So yes, guys, the acting here is decent, the soundtrack is also fairly decent and that's the best you could ask for is the music to be fitting for a film and the score worked here, it really does. Even though I, myself, didn't like some of the songs it didn't ruin a thing.

Let's cover special effects... I would like to say right now that I KNOW that this movie was made with very little money, and even though this isn't the greatest CGI I've seen in a film, it's quite impressive what Terry Gilliam managed to pull this off from the thin budget, almost all of the effects and props look pretty damn good and flashy... I wish the LOOK of the film was a bit more original because frankly I think all Gilliam did here was just copy-paste and tone down the world from "Idiocracy".
But despite looking unoriginal, I must give kudos for making a such good looking movie despite the very little they had.
Camerawork here is decent, and the soundmix is fine, the lighting is fine, SERIOUSLY guys, this entire movie is brought down by the fucking writing, so in my book it would NEVER matter how good-looking a movie is if it doesn't have a good script to support it!

So, when it's all said and done can I possibly recommend "The Zero Theorem"? ...No, I really can't. I honestly CANNOT recommend this.
The good special effects and sets and some of the acting are the ONLY things I can praise this movie for, Gilliam seriously managed to get his hands on a small budget and make a SciFi film that looks 100% professional and cinematic, so even though I'm not a fan of the story and the characters, if some of you guys are inspiring filmmakers, you should totally check this movie out specifically to see how great looking a film can be even by using a very restricted budget, this thing looks AMAZING and just on the technical aspect.
...Try to rent or see this movie on streaming because it ISN'T worth your money, DO NOT buy a DVD or even a Blu-Ray copy.
BUT STILL... I can't really recommend the movie for everything else, especially when Terry Gilliam made films that are so much better than this one such as "The adventures of Baron Münchausen", "12 Monkeys", "The Fisher King" and again, "Brazil". Yes guys, I'm still banging on the whole comparison between this thing and "Brazil", why? Because once more, the person who told me to see this, and YES, I'll say right now that it was my big sister, swore to me up and down that "The Zero Theorem" was going to be as good, if not BETTER than "Brazil" and she also said that they're similar and that it's guaranteed that I'd LOVE it! ...No, sis. I'm sorry.
This movie was SHALLOW, it was DULL, and again, the writing just SUCKS and this is gonna get into the naughty list of Gilliam's films.

...You know what I'm gonna do now to cheer up a bit? I'm going to re-watch "Brazil", why? Because some dumb bitch told me that this movie was going to be as good as "Brazil" and goddamnit I had my expectations set for something THAT good, so if that means that I've got to go watch "Brazil" in order to get those sorts of results, I am going to! ...And since in this movie there's a satirical religion that idolizes Batman called 'The Church of Batman the Redeemer', I'll also re-watch the classic 1989 "Batman" movie after I'm done with "Brazil".

Well, with that we come to the close of this entry of "killb94's Reaction And Review", I hope you enjoyed it and I'll see you soon next time with another movie to check out. Peace and prosper.